This is a really fine example of the fine characters I reside with. They are selfish, self-serving jerks to put it lightly. My step-mother is the definition of evil and my father is too stupid to notice or too selfish to care.
Yesterday, was Father’s Day. A day for all to acknowledge and thank their fathers for what they have done for them. My father has never been what a father should be. He has never been there for me when I needed him. He always did the bare minimum.
When he was there or when I lived with him he was very verbally abusive. He didn’t protect me like a father should. I lived with him for my last two years of high school and those were some of the worst years of my life. He was rarely there and I basically had to raise myself, while literally being treated like Cinderella by my step-mother and two step-sisters.
Despite all of that, I still remember him every year, which is not an easy task. Even finding a card that is not completely bs is difficult. As I stood on the card isle reading through card after card that would not work for me I realized that those cards are what a father is supposed to be. I had to fight the tears back as I read each one and imagined what it would be like to have one of those dads. I wondered if the people on either side of me had a dad like that or if they too had a dad like mine.
So, yesterday I finally found a card that was honest and still kind. It simply said, “In my heart there will always be a place where I’m your little girl.” Inside, I wrote a heartfelt message. I told my father that I appreciated him and the fact that he taught me to be a strong independent person. I always give him credit for the things that he has taught me, even if they were through a lack of caring. I also bought a card from my son and I both wishing him a stress free Father’s Day.
I came home and gave him the cards and coffee I had for him. He told me that he needed to brush his teeth and shave before he could read them. I thought that was a little strange but didn’t put too much thought into it.
Then I went outside to fill the water bowl, as he had instructed me to fill it with new water every time I let my dogs out. While I was outside my step-mom came opened the door. Very clearly to see if the bowl was filled so that she could tell my dad I hadn’t done it so he would yell at me. When she opened the door I noticed she was dressed like she was going somewhere. I asked her if she was going somewhere and she responded with a hurried, “yes”. I then asked her where she was going. She completely ignored me closing the door.
As I sat outside for a minute, I thought to myself that she must be going somewhere. I wondered where she was going. I thought that it would be nice for me to be able to take my dad somewhere for Father’s Day.
Then, I heard her inside talking to my dad. I heard her ask for his car keys. I went inside to see him sitting on the couch putting his shoes on. He opened the first card, the one from Jeremy and I, and said “thank you”. He then opened the second and said, “oh this is too long I’ll have to read this later.” I asked him where he was going and he informed me that he was going to Galveston with my step-mom and her mother. They were going to eat and to the beach.
I was shocked. I couldn’t say anything but, “have a good time.” Nothing else would come out.
So, once again, when my Dad was supposed to be with me he was with my step-mom and her family. For years, he lived with her and her daughters and missed every holiday with me. I remember so few times that he even came to see me or called to see how I was doing.
I blame them both for this. He is my father and it is his responsibility to say, “Today is Father’s Day, I am sure that Amy probably wants to do something with me.” I blame her because what women asks her husband to go on Father’s Day to the beach with her mother and doesn’t invite his daughter or grandson?
Many times in the past I let this bother me. It still hurts, but I will not allow this to bring down my spirit. I will not take responsibility for this in any way. My father’s inability to be there for me does make things a bit more difficult in life, but it makes success so much sweeter.
I hope that all of the good father’s out there enjoyed THEIR day. I hope that they all know what a gift it is to their children just to be there for them.